Question: Are you a queen fit for a king and if so, what kind of queen are you? Author, mentor, and founder of Courage to Believe International, Inc., Kevin Dorival his pinned a book "7 Types of Queens Kings Desire" that identifies specific qualities men need exemplified by women throughout history.
This is the part where I tell you I am not here for men attempting to identify themselves as self-help gurus, specifically targeting women for 2 reasons:
Reason #1 - these men (without naming names) are usually not married, have secret wives and/or have pasts riddled with infidelity. How can a man with no wife try to tell a woman what she needs to be, say, do and think to become one?
Reason #2 - their intentions are simply not pure. They aren't trying to help women. They are simply trying to help themselves. I refer to them as social media psychologists. They haven't taken a women's suffrage course online, let alone acquired any type of training to counsel anyone on any subject. But they hawk their ideas in poorly written books, memes, videos and statement t-shirts until they find their way on to CNN as commentators or wind up hosting TV shows. They become popular whether (or not) they have something paramount to say. How women listen to these clowns is beyond me, but...
I stumbled upon Kevin promoting 7 Types of Queens Kings Desire on Google+ and thought to myself, out of all the books available written by men about women that I would rather burn than read, I would actually give this book a thorough assessment.
The author describes 7 Types of Queens Kings as a relationship/self-help book, but I believe it to be more. Kevin Dorival is seeking to mend broken relationship between women and men without bashing men, without asking women to assimilate with the opposite sex, while rarely inserting his own opinion. Instead, he holds up a mirror and challenges women to question whether they possess different qualities of other "Queens" - past and present - and why men NEED these types of women. These women are/were:
Spiritual Queens - a man's spirit is nurtured by a praying woman
Natural Queens - a man needs a woman who can be confident with/without cosmetics and extensions
Cooking Queens - men see women taking the extra time to cook as a sign that we care
Warrior Queens - these are the women who remind their men to be fearless in seasons of attack, turbulence, hardship and doubt
Wise Queens - a woman with the intellect to interpret when to apply positive energy when her man is vibrating low
Sexy Queens - men need to be stimulated: mind, body and soul
Serving Queens - men need women who can be cooperative, submissive and respectful
Kevin used Jewish Queen Esther as an example of a Spiritual Queen. Esther prayed and fasted for 3 days before confessing to her husband King of Persia that she was indeed a Jew and begged him to spare her people from being slaughtered. Winnie Mandela is the definition of a Warrior Queen, having been a social worker and activist before she met and later married Nelson Mandela. Princess Diana was known around the world for her humanitarian efforts. She is certainly deserving of being described as a Serving Queen.
What is lacking from 7 Types of Queens Kings Desire: the DEFINITION OF A KING! Who are we doing all of this serving, cooking, and praying for? Certainly not the countless men in and out of prison, the men who have decided to seek comfort from other men, the abusive men, the manipulative men and the men who refuse to protect and provide. Throughout the book Kevin expertly reminds women to not cast their pearls before swine and what type of men to avoid. So what are the characteristics of true Kings and where do they hang out (I'm asking for a friend)? Hopefully he will provide us with more answers in the soon-to-be released 7 Types of Kings Queens Desire. I am patiently waiting on Kevin Dorival's next book.
What I enjoyed most about reading this book is the presence of biblical passages, African spirituality, and true biographical portraits of regal women operating in their gifts not to just keep a man but to make a profound global impact. The author's writing style graciously interweaves a delicate balance of both beliefs given African principles, specifically Ma'at, predates Christianity by 2000 years.
I began reading this book with the mindset that I am already a queen, Kev ain't really telling me anything I don't already know <snaps fingers, rolls eyes>. Growing up in the Black church, a Proverbs 31 women is what you are groomed to be. Yes, we make our man's plate first! Make up isn't frowned upon but it isn't a requirement. We are taught to dress modestly. Above all else, submission and reverence to God is the defining character of a true Queen. Check, Check, Check. Yup. I'ma Queen and in my mind, I am all seven (on a good day, when the stars are aligned, I have had my coffee and no one is getting on my last black nerve)!
But as I continued to read, what came to mind were all of the other women who don't see themselves as queens, trapped in loveless relationships or living lives of shame for past indiscretions. The worst are the women who have convinced themselves they are queens simply because of their material possessions, their degrees, the roundness of their booties, or the attention they receive from social media. These chics have little to offer to a King and less to our community because most of them are empty inside. They are the ones who need to read this book!
*I have been this woman. Sis, don't be this woman.
I needed to read it too. I need to gather my whole life! I'm desiring to be the total package times 10! To do so, I may need to channel my inner Queen Nzinga for militaristic strategies. I quickly added Maya Angelou's cookbook to my Amazon cart. Added some more lingerie to step up my Sexy Queen game too! I need to put in more time at the gun range so I can protect my family like the wings of the goddess Isis (Queen Auset). Can I be more unapologetically BLACK like Queen Nina Simone and aim high when they go low like Michelle Obama? There is nothing stopping a good woman from being a great woman. Ladies, do whatever you need to do to maintain your title, your crown and your thrown - but I strongly advise you to include 7 Types of Queens Kings Desire in your arsenal, then wait for your king to find you.